Last night I had the option of paying $20 to see a friend of a friend of a friend’s independent 12 minute short or being dropped off at The Oaks for a chance to redeem myself for Thursday’s poor results. Not to be too results-oriented or anything, of course, but I figured if the game was that good at San Pablo (results notwithstanding), the game at the Oaks was sure to be as good or better. I was looking forward to playing some no limit at “One of Northern California’s oldest and largest card clubs.”

Sadly, there is no no limit hold’em at the Oaks.

An old Emeryville law regulating poker prohibits bets in excess of $200, which makes no limit poker games illegal, but allows bets in excess of $200 for games like Super Pan 9. Yeah, I’ve never heard of Super Pan 9 either, but I guess I’m not much of an Asian gambler.

With a couple hundred in my pocket and no chance to stack off against the denizens of the Oaks, I signed up for their 3/6 game, which combined the virtues of having a short waiting list, being somewhat affordable, and being less vulnerable to the effect of the drop. I really gotta get my bankroll up to a working level.

Over the course of four hours, I managed to keep the river beats down to an acceptable three, my calling down with a dominated hand down to a semi-acceptable one, and take down enough pots with the best hand to end the night with an extra 17.5 big bets in my pocket, making for an hourly rate of 4.4. Go me.

Spade flushes seemed to be the hand of the night, with no fewer than eight pots taken down by those pointy black devils. Happily, I managed to take more than my share of these large pots, with an ace high backdoor flush and a king high turned flush (an A or 9 would have given me the straight flush).

I also managed to get two big pocket pairs that held up. Kings unimproved in the first one or two orbits, and Jacks toward the end of the evening that flopped top set (a four straight on the river made me check behind, but still drag a large pot).

Actually, I take it back, the suited hammer was the hand of the night. One managed to get a full house on the river, one (which I folded) would have been the winning flush, and another was the winning flush. Needless to say, I folded the real hammer three times over the course of the night. No offense to Grubby, but that’s just a shitty hand. There was no real reason to raise with the hammer, win with it, and put the table on tilt; they were giving away plenty of money as it was. I think if I were to have stayed another couple hours, some pure bluffs with the hammer or other terrible hands probably would have been in order, since the last pot I won I dragged after betting the flop. If the phrase “even fish have eyes” hasn’t been copyrighted by anyone, I’m laying claim to it right here and now.

I’m still surprised at how often people will go to the showdown with nothing but Ace high or second pair or busted draws, but I’m still a relative newbie to live poker. Even the worst online tables don’t have this many calling stations. Those “short-handed” tables don’t count.

Afterwards, my friends told me the short was a terrible waste of time and money; knowing that makes tonight’s win even sweeter.