ScurvyDog’s guide to casino whoring is helping me offset my poker losses. Thanks Scurvy! I’m such a degenerate. Ask Absinthe, he can tell you:
Glyphic: Playing some bj
Absinthe: and winning, presumably.
Glyphic: Up 164 over my buyin + bonus
Absinthe: So, you’re going to walk away now, right? Right?
Glyphic: Haven’t cleared the bonus play through yet
Glyphic: Just increased my bet from 4 to 10 and hit blackjack
Glyphic: Decreased it back to 4 and hit a twenty. doh.
Absinthe: Varying your bet with a memoryless deck?
Glyphic: Yes
Glyphic: Can’t i have my fun?
Absinthe: So long as you realize that it’s -EV.
Glyphic: -EV? Wot’s dat?
Absinthe: (Bad Phil. Bad! Bad!)
Glyphic: Fuck the dealer. And his blackjack
Glyphic: So rigged
Absinthe: Dude. It’s GAMBLING.
Glyphic: ?
Glyphic: you make no sense sometimes
Glyphic: i got a system, man…
Absinthe: Uh huh.
Absinthe: Step 1: lose a lot of money
Absinthe: Step 2: ?
Absinthe: Step 3: Profit!
Glyphic: Damn. Just hit BJ and the dealer had BJ too.
Glyphic: So rigged
Glyphic: Woo! I love double down.
Absinthe: Blackjack is like crack to you, isn’t it?
Glyphic: That analogy would be pretty good if i weren’t a crack smoker
Absinthe: Okay, it’s like the gambling version of what you smoke regularly.
Glyphic: Okay, now I’m up $425 and I can withdraw my winnings.
Glyphic: I even made $25 playing roulette.
Absinthe: and winning, presumably.
Glyphic: Up 164 over my buyin + bonus
Absinthe: So, you’re going to walk away now, right? Right?
Glyphic: Haven’t cleared the bonus play through yet
Glyphic: Just increased my bet from 4 to 10 and hit blackjack
Glyphic: Decreased it back to 4 and hit a twenty. doh.
Absinthe: Varying your bet with a memoryless deck?
Glyphic: Yes
Glyphic: Can’t i have my fun?
Absinthe: So long as you realize that it’s -EV.
Glyphic: -EV? Wot’s dat?
Absinthe: (Bad Phil. Bad! Bad!)
Glyphic: Fuck the dealer. And his blackjack
Glyphic: So rigged
Absinthe: Dude. It’s GAMBLING.
Glyphic: ?
Glyphic: you make no sense sometimes
Glyphic: i got a system, man…
Absinthe: Uh huh.
Absinthe: Step 1: lose a lot of money
Absinthe: Step 2: ?
Absinthe: Step 3: Profit!
Glyphic: Damn. Just hit BJ and the dealer had BJ too.
Glyphic: So rigged
Glyphic: Woo! I love double down.
Absinthe: Blackjack is like crack to you, isn’t it?
Glyphic: That analogy would be pretty good if i weren’t a crack smoker
Absinthe: Okay, it’s like the gambling version of what you smoke regularly.
Glyphic: Okay, now I’m up $425 and I can withdraw my winnings.
Glyphic: I even made $25 playing roulette.
Maybe Iggy put it best: “ur doomed.”
