I bought all your records, clipped every magazine article, videotaped you on Letterman, saw you play at the Roxy, the El Rey, the Wiltern, and the Bowl. I joined the fan club, wrote you letters, and sent you photos. So why didn’t you talk to me that night at Swingers when I came up to you and Malcolm McDowell in the booth in the back?

Thanks to the “life streaming” phenomenon, every Joe can now feel like a pop star when the quietly obsessive Jane comes up to them and starts talking casually about Joe’s life. As I’ve mentioned before, between your various profiles, blogs, Twitter and photo streams, any idiot who bothered could piece together a well defined picture of your life. Your education, where you were last night, what you ate on Sunday, what you saw on your last vacation, who your friends are, your political views, your favorite liquor, what you bought from Amazon, your hobbies, the name of your cat.

Example 1: Beatles, Yoga, Jon Stewart, New Age, sympathetic, Jewish, born in November, liberal, Democrat, alternative, 80’s, classics, Ivy League, no land-based meat, emotional.

Example 2: Netflix, Tivo, born in December, museums, clubs, drinking, food, web 2.0, fashion, spends time with grandma, owns property in AZ, developer, Lessig, Heroes, Britney, SNL, gay, Jewish, tall, karaoke, make that very gay.

Example 3: food, Blackberry, hospital, County-USC, Democrat, alt/indie music, ninjas, music, Obama, AIDS, food, garage sale, Silver Lake, probably hipster, NPR, WBR, Darfur, ACLU.

Bonus points if you recognize yourself in the examples. 🙂